Slammed

Mood: Exhausted
Music: It Doesn't Matter - Allison Krauss and Union Station

I'm just so tired right now. One word to describe this week? Drama. I've seriously been slammed by everything in the book this week. Breaking point? Definitely coming close. This weekend will be spent in hibernation/recovery/homework (just can't escape it).

Definitely feeling the pressure right now, much more than before. I know I can handle this, it's just...hard right now. Four tests in one week. It might not sound like much to someone who has experienced much more than I have, but it's been a rough week. 4 tests and less than satisfactory results by my standards.

My standards suck. I really need to lower them, but I know that if I don't keep them higher than my parents, I'm going to crack.

As well as all my scholarly issues, I'm having friend issues. Trust is such a huge thing to me, and I guess I just feel immensely betrayed right now.

It's all just made me so, so tired.

New Address and Wallpaper

Mood: Annoyed
Music: Come On Closer - Jem

In case you haven't noticed, this has moved. Certain, people were annoying me because they were blackmailing me with my old one. Ass. So new address, hope anyone reading my old one finds this one!

Also, new wallpaper to celebrate!
Jack's Mannequin, band of the moment.

Alrighty...

Mood: Antsy
Music: The Good Kind - The Wreckers

Ok, so minor freakout before. Don't mind me. Culmination of many things.

Losing It

Mood: Panicked
Music: Nada

Why am I feeling out of control and totally out of my depth right now? Ok, having a mini freakout online, don't mind me. It'll pass. It always passes, right?

When the stars go blue...

Mood: Bored
Music: When The Stars Go Blue - Tyler Hilton and Bethany Joy Lenz

Alright so I'm bored, no one is online over at the incision, so here I am...posting.

Yea I really have nothing to say.

"Where do you go when you're lonely? Where do you go when you're blue?"

Just a thought...

Mood: Introspective
Music: Dark Blue - Jack's Mannequin

Ok, so I really should be working on 3H of my maths book right now, but just a thought, how is it I can't really open up to someone, but I can post all my inner most feelings on a blog on the internet? Is it some perverse need for attention? Or maybe it's because I think that if someone really wants to know me, and goes to the effort of finding this, they deserve to find out a few insider tips.

Who knows... I call it Peyton Sawyer syndrome.

BTW I just copy and pasted every post into a word document, and I've typed up over 20,000 words in this blog. Wow.

Am I going emo?

Mood: Melancholy
Music: How Love Should Be - Tyler Hilton

Question of the day ladies and gents. Am I going emo? I don't think so. Yea, my music isn't your typical teeny bobby chart hits, eg. Flaunt It isn't on my MUST HAVE list. Sure, none of the songs in my On-The-Go playlist are in the top 50. But so what? I like my music!

Any besides, none of it is whiny-slash-you-wrists music. Fall Out Boy doesn't fall under that category.

So in love with their latest song, I think I'll post the lyrics here!

"A Little Less Sixteen Candles, A Little More "Touch Me""

I confess, I{'m just} messed up
dropping "I'm sorry" like you're still around
And I know you dressed up
{said} "hey kid you'll never live this down"

And you're just the girl all the boys want to dance with
And I'm just the boy who's had too many chances

I'm sleeping on your folk's porch again, dreaming
She said, she said, she said, "Why don't you just drop dead?"

I don't blame you for being you
But you can't blame me for hating it
So say, what are you waiting for?
Kiss her, kiss her
I set my clocks early 'cause I know I'm always late

Write me off, give up on me
Cause darling, what did you expect
I'm just off a lost cause
a long shot, don't even take this bet

You can make all the moves, you can aim all the spotlights
Get all the sighs and the moans just right

I'm sleeping on your folk's porch again, dreaming
She said, she said, she said, "Why don't you just drop dead?"

I don't blame you for being you
But you can't blame me for hating it
So say, what are you waiting for?
Kiss her, kiss her
I set my clocks early 'cause I know I'm always late

(always on, always on)
You said you'd keep me honest
(always on, always on)
But I won't call you on it
(always on, always on)

I don't blame you for being you
But you can't blame me for hating it
So say, what are you waiting for?
Kiss her, kiss her
I set my clocks early 'cause I know I'm always late

I set my clocks early 'cause I know I'm always late

[In the {} are lyrics from CD cover that are not actually sung]

I'm so a pessimist

Mood: Snarky
Music: A Little Less Sixteen Candles, A Little More Touch Me

I'm overly pessimistic. Way too pessimistic for my own good. How did I reach this ground-breaking epiphany? I was watching the Commonwealth Games Opening Ceremony, and I soon noticed that no I wasn't oohing and ahhing over all the pretty fireworks and seemingly symbolic but not making sense ballet dancers and motorbike riders. Instead, I picked up on all the glitches that happened.

For example, when Delta Goodrem took to the stage, all these rollerbladers with fireworks strapped to their backs came skating out ala Winter Olympics style. The one thing I found totally amusing about the whole thing was the fact that one guy's backpack started spinning like 1 minute before everyone elses. Totally stood out, major malfunction. Frickin hilarious.

Now that I think about it, laughing at a malfunctioning rocket backpack isn't really something to base a character flaw on.

Moving on.

Totally into Fall Out Boy right now. Those guys and Jack's Mannequin. Does that make me emo? I'm pretty sure they're not emo bands, they're pretty awesome. I think I'm going to go out and buy From Under The Cork Tree soon. We'll see.

Songs of 1988

Alright, got this off someone else's blog. The idea is to look up the top 100 songs for your birth year, bold the songs you like and underline your favourite.

1. Faith, George Michael
2. Need You Tonight, INXS
3. Got My Mind Set On You, George Harrison
4. Never Gonna Give You Up, Rick Astley
5. Sweet Child O' Mine, Guns N' Roses
6. So Emotional, Whitney Houston
7. Heaven Is A Place On Earth, Belinda Carlisle
8. Could've Been, Tiffany
9. Hands To Heaven, Breathe
10. Roll With It, Steve Winwood
11. One More Try, George Michael
12. Wishing Well, Terence Trent d'Arby
13. Anything For You, Gloria Estefan and the Miami Sound Machine
14. The Flame, Cheap Trick
15. Get Outta My Dreams, Get Into My Car, Billy Ocean
16. Seasons Change, Expose
17. Is This Love, Whitesnake
18. Wild, Wild West, Escape Club
19. Pour Some Sugar On Me, Def Leppard
20. I'll Always Love You, Taylor Dayne
21. Man In The Mirror, Michael Jackson
22. Shake Your Love, Debbie Gibson
23. Simply Irresistible, Robert Palmer
24. Hold On To The Nights, Richard Marx
25. Hungry Eyes, Eric Carnen
26. Shattered Dreams, Johnny Hates Jazz
27. Father Figure, George Michael
28. Naught Girls (Need Love Too), Samantha Fox
29. A Groovy Kind Of Love, Phil Collins
30. Love Bites, Def Leppard
31. Endless Summer Nights, Richard Marx
32. Foolish Beat, Debbie Gibson
33. Where Do Broken Hearts Go, Whitney Houston
34. Angel, Aerosmith
35. Hazy Shade Of Winter, Bangles
36. The Way You Make Me Feel, Michael Jackson
37. Don't Worry, Be Happy, Bobby McFerrin
38. Make Me Lose Control, Eric Carnen
39. Red Red Wine, UB40
40. She's Like The Wind, Patric Swayze
41. Bad Medicine, Bon Jovi
42. Kokomo, Beach Boys
43. I Don't Wanna Go On With You Like That, Elton John
44. Together Forever, Rick Astley
45. Monkey, George Michael
46. Devil Inside, INXS
47. Should've Known Better, Richard Marx
48. I Don't Wanna Live Without Your Love, Chicago
49. The Loco-Motion, Kylie Minogue
50. What Have I Done To Deserve This?, Pet Shop Boys and Dusty Springfield
51. Make It Real, Jets
52. What's On Your Mind, Information Society
53. Tell It To My Heart, Taylor Dayne
54. Out Of The Blue, Debbie Gibson
55. Don't You Want Me, Jody Watley
56. Desire, U2
57. I Get Weak, Belinda Carlisle
58. Sign Your Name, Terence Trent d'Arby
59. I Want To Be Your Man, Roger
60. Girlfriend, Pebbles
61. Dirty Diana, Michael Jackson
62. 1-2-3, Gloria Estefan and Miami Sound Machine
63. Mercedes Boy, Pebbles
64. Perfect World, Huey Lewis and the News
65. New Sensation, INXS
66. Catch Me (I'm Falling), Pretty Poison
67. If It Isn't Love, New Edition
68. Rocket 2 U, Jets
69. One Good Woman, Peter Cetera
70. Don't Be Cruel, Cheap Trick
71. Candle In The Wind, Elton John
72. Everything Your Heart Desires, Daryl Hall and John Oates
73. Say You Will , Foreigner
74. I Want Her, Keith Sweat
75. Pink Cadillac, Natalie Cole
76. Fast Car, Tracy Chapman
77. Electric Blue, Icehouse
78. The Valley Road, Bruce Hornsby and The Range
79. Don't Be Cruel, Bobby Brown
80. Always On My Mind, Pet Shop Boys
81. Piano In The Dark, Brenda Russell Featuring Joe Esposito
82. When It's Love, Van Halen
83. Don't Shed A Tear, Paul Carrack
84. We'll Be Together, Sting
85. I Hate Myself For Loving You, Joan Jett and The Blackhearts
86. I Don't Want To Live Without You, Foreigner
87. Nite And Day, Al B. Sure
88. Don't You Know What The Night Can Do, Steve Winwood
89. One Moment In Time, Whitney Houston
90. Can't Stay Away From You, Gloria Estefan and Miami Sound Machine
91. Kissing A Fool, George Michael
92. Cherry Bomb, John Cougar Mellancamp
93. I Still Believe, Brenda K. Starr
94. I Found Someone, Cher
95. Never Tear Us Apart, INXS
96. Valerie, Steve Windwood
97. Just Like Paradise, David Lee Roth
98. Nothin' But A Good Time, Poison
99. Wait, White Lion
100. Prove Your Love, Taylor Dayne

Where do you go when you're lonely?

Mood: Same old, same old
Music: Halo - Haley James Scott

Alright, so I'm posting...even though I have nothing to post. So this is nothingness again. Week six of school, halfway through term 1, yay!

Tired right now. Really should do maths homework or physics assignment before I fall behind, but I have no initiative at this current moment in time.

Wanna know something stupid? I have to find either 3 poems about Australia or by Australian poets. Let me just say, that poems about Australia are generally annoying. And there are no decent Australian poets. I'd love to do some T.S. Eliot, Robert Frost, William Wordsworth or Emily Dickinson, but no, they're not Australian. Bah. As far as I know there were no fabulously suicidal Australian poets who went the way of Sylvia Plath.

I ain't missing you at all...

Mood: Spamalicious
Music: Missing You - Tyler Hilton

I'm in a major One Tree Hill mood. Been watching season 3, finally, and I got the new soundtrack, which is fabulous. I absolutely love The Mixed Tape by Jack's Mannequin, Halo by Bethany Joy Lenz (Or Haley James Scott as she's credited on the CD!) and Missing You by Tyler Hilton. Missing You is a remake of the old Tina Turner hit, and I'm loving this new Tyler Hilton version. Hated Chris Keller, love Tyler Hilton.

I ain't missing you at all, since you've been gone...away
I ain't missing you, no matter what my friends say
I ain't missing you at all, since you've been gone...away
I ain't missing you, no matter what your friends say

Reasons Why

Mood: A little bit funk, a little bit punk, and a little bit rock and roll
Music: I Hear The Bells - Mike Doughty

Reasons why what you may be asking? Well in all honesty, I have no freaking idea why I wrote that title. Just felt like spamming you all out there... all though I'm not sure there is an "you all out there" to spam, so really I'm just creating more internet junk. Life's grand, innit?

Patheticness

Mood: Self-deprecating
Music: I Will - Holly Palmer

When did I become one of those girls? The pathetic ones who sit around and check their mobile hoping they got a message from a boy, who might I add, isn't even my boyfriend, which I constantly have to remind me.

It's the downfall of feminism in my eyes. That's it, breaking the habit. If he wants me, it's his move. I'm over it.

If you're not afraid to love, if you're not afraid to give, if you're not afraid of us, let me hear you say I will...

Mood: Kinda Hyped Up
Music: I Will - Holly Palmer

Ok, so no this will not be a rant about social irrelevance or the apathetic nature of the general public...although the public is pretty damn apathetic. I'm just bored. And spamming I guess. Welcome to my life. I have a summative assessment task tomorrow for Japanese which I probably should be studying for. For those of you not currently doing SACE and don't understand what a summative is...tough. Tough love baby, the only way. I am currently in the process of tough love. Making someone come to me, screw making the moves, it's about time I sit back and let someone else make a move. Screw carpe diem. I expect to be around for a while longer.

We've gotta make a decision, either leave tonight or die this way...

Mood: Tired
Music: Fast Car - Tracy Chapman

So remember when we were driving, driving in your car. Speeding so fast I felt like I was drunk.
- Fast Car
- Tracy Chapman

So who's up for some angst? Because that's what I've got for you today. Last night, was totally tired, crashed at like 10-ish, hell early for a saturday night, even for a hermit like me, but before that I was listening to my iPod and this song made me think.

Who can you trust? How do you know who your true friends are? Does anyone really know you?
I mean, I've got friends, but can I really rely on them when I need to? I'd have to be pretty damn naive to think that I can trust them..well some of them. I know I can rely on some of them. Some of my friends, I know, I can't fully rely on. They're more...fair-weather friends. There for the good times, but sometimes they bail on the bad ones.

Everything is f-ed up, straight from the heart. Tell me what do you do, when it all falls up. Gotta pick myself up, where do I start? Coz I can't turn to you, when it all falls apart.
- When It All Falls Apart
- The Veronicas

I have people telling me left and right that I can trust them, and go to them when I want to talk. Sometimes I do want to talk. But I don't want to pick up the phone. Sometimes I think it's easier to talk to the voices in my head. Not the crazy voices telling me to burn things (not that I have those or anything...) but just that contemplative, occasionally hormonally driven voice that allows me to mull things over. And occasionally stress over.

So trust. It's a pretty important thing. But I don't believe what some people think. Trust isn't one of those all or nothing things. It's not like you either trust someone or you don't. There are levels of trust. For example:

No Trust At All
This is the level of trust for people you really don't like. You wouldn't even trust them to watch your jacket for ten minutes.

I Guess You're Okay
Second lowest level of trust. These are people you talk to, but you wouldn't ring them if stranded or trust them with a beloved pet.

Superficial/Gossip Trust
This level of trust is the level when you're friends with someone to a certain degree. As in you trust them with errands, and you trust them to spread gossip with. (Disclaimer: Gossip is bad. Do not gossip.)

Fair-weather Trust
This is the level of trust where you trust people to pick you up when stranded, to give advice in a crisis and to divulge details over that sordid new crush

Almost There Trust
I guess this is where I am with most of the people in my life. I don't think anyone is higher than this level. This is where you trust people to know most details of your life. You trust them with a lot of information, you tell them your thoughts, your loves, your hates. But still, not full disclosure.

Complete Trust
I think that this is the level of trust that only occurs between people who really love and care for each other. Like soul mate love. This is the level when you can tell someone all your darkest thoughts, your dirtiest secrets (like that spice girls CD you still listen to) and know that no one else will know them, and you won't get judged for it. This is the level to aspire to.

So trust. It's a huge thing. I guess you can't really survive without it. So how trusting am I? Well, I trust people pretty easily, until the superficial level. And then it's tougher going. And if you're in the top three and you break my trust? You're heading back to the superficial level, and good luck trying to climb your way higher.

So what brought this rant on? Well music, and an examination of my own life. I heard that there are two kinds of people who listen to music. Beat people and lyrics people. Beat people are people who listen and love music because it has a great beat to move to. Lyrics people look for deeper meaning, and listen to the words. Somehow, I think I'm a lyrics person :)

So go on love. Leave while there's still hope for escape. Gotta take what you can these days. There's so much ahead, so much regret. I know what you want to say. I know people can't help feeling differently. I loved you, and I should have said it, but tell me just what has it ever meant.
- Kill
- Jimmy Eat World

90's were the bomb!

Mood: Procrastinating...which really isn't a mood but hey, what's new
Music: We Belong Together - No not the Mariah Carey version, but the Gavin DeGraw one, from that new movie, Tristan and Isolde...featuring the very hot James Franco and that chick from that crappy movie, Thunderbirds. Rant over.

You know you're a 90's kid if...

You've ever ended a sentence with the word "PSYCHE!"

You can sing the rap to "The Fresh Prince Of Bel Air"

You've worn skorts and felt stylish.

You yearned to be a part of The Baby-Sitters Club

You use to love playing with your MY Little Pet Shop

You know that "WOAH" comes from Joey from "Blossom" and that "How Rude!" comes from Stephanie from "Full House"

You remember when it was actually worth getting up early on a Saturday to watch cartoons.

You wore a ponytail on the side of your head and had fluffed bangs

You got super excited when it was Oregon Trail day in computer class at school.

You wanted to change your name to "JEM" in kindergarten

You remember reading "Goosebumps"

You know the profound meaning of "Wax on, wax off"

You have pondered why Smurfette was the only female smurf.

You took plastic cartoon lunch boxes to school.

You remember the craze then the banning of slap bracelets and slam books.

You still get the urge to say "NOT" after (almost) every sentence...Not...

You knew that Kimberly, the pink ranger, and Tommy, the green Ranger were meant to be together.

You remember "I've fallen and I can't get up"

You remember going to the skating rink before there were inline skates

You ever got injured on a Slip 'n' Slide

You wore socks over leggings scrunched down

" Miss Mary Mack, Mack, Mack, all dressed in black, black, black, with silver buttons, buttons, buttons, all down her back, back, back" SHE ASKED HER MOTHER MOTHER MOTHER FOR FIFTY CENTS CENTS CENTS TO SEE THE ELEPHANTS ELEPHANTS ELEPHANTS JUMP OVER THE FENCE THE FENCE THE FENCE"he jumped so high high high he touched the sky sky sky and he didnt come back back back til the forth of july ly ly he jumped so low ow ow he stumbed he's toe oe oe and thats the end end end of the elephants show ow ow€"

You remember boom boxes vs. cd players

You knew what it meant to say "Care Bear Stare"

You remember Alf, the little brown alien from Melmac and Vicki the Robot from "MY Little Wonder"

You remember New Kids on The Block when they were cool

You knew all the characters names and their life stories on "Saved By The Bell"

You played and or collected "Pogs"

You used to pretend to be a MIGHTY MORPHIN Power Ranger and you owned a Skip It

You had at least one GigaPet or Nano and brought it everywhere.

You watched the original Care Bears, My Little Pony, and Ninja Turtles

All your school supplies were "Lisa Frank" brand. (pencils.notebooks.binders.etc.)

Yikes pencils and erasers were the shit.

You remember when the new Beanie Babies were always sold out.

You used to wear those stick on earings, not only on your ears, but at the corners of your eyes.

You remember a time before the WB.

You've gotten creeped out by "Are You Afraid of the Dark?"

You thought it would be so cool to be Alex Mack.

You know the Macarena by heart..

" Talk to the hand" ... enough said

You thought Brain would finally take over the world

You always said, "Then why don't you marry it!"

Repost this if you were a 90's kid and can relate to any of these!

See guys, that is disturbing, I'm too young to be nostalgic!