Mood: Exhausted
Music: Momentary Thing - Something Happens
So what's new in the life of pi? Well I wouldn't know. I'm not pi nor do I know pi. But I can tell you what's new in my life.
Well let's see right now I'm getting yelled at. Ooh fun. I believe this is called transference. When you're angry at someone else but choose to take out your anger on someone else. Yea, gotta say being the victim of transference, so not fun. Meh, whatever. I'm learning to compartmentalise. Which is probably a bad thing because I guess it makes me more likely to like spontaneously combust one day or something. Bottling things up = bad is what those psychobabble people always say after all. And I'm pretty sure I've bottled up about 20 2 litre bottles. So should be interesting when the glass breaks. And believe me, it always does.
It's not like you can really ever tell anyone anything anyway. I mean, there are just too many risks when it comes to telling someone all about you. Will they judge you? Will they think you're some kind of homicidal freak? Something less than human maybe? Sometimes it seems like it's the humanity in everyone that makes it hard to let people in. Ha, I really don't know what I'm talking about. All I know, is that there is not a single person in my life who I can say knows everything about me. Hell, I don't even know everything about me. For example, today I just realised I don't like butter on the bread when I have a sandwich. Go figure.
Veronica Mars is my newest obsession. Fallen in love with that show. Veronica is a great girl, she's strong and sassy. Totally my new idol. Also, while I was for the whole Duncan/Veronica thing initially, after reaching episode 18, I'm all for the LoVe. I can totally see what those fans see. Love it. It's also spawned a love for the song I'm listening to now.
After all, isn't this just a momentary thing?It sounds very INXS-ish now that I think about it.
So anyway, reports came in today. I did better and worse than I thought I would. While my maths didn't get dragged down my crappy exam result, and I managed to pull through an A for English, I still couldn't pull up my chem grade. Which kinda sucks. Even worse, a family friend, or rather my mum's friend's son got his year 12 results back today. He's always been the one that I've kinda been measured against. And he didn't get the results which were expected, so I can already feel more pressure on me. To succeed. To meet unrealistic expectations. I'm not stupid, or a pushover. I've spoken to my parents about these expectations and about how they're weighing down on me. They kinda just joke and pass it off. Not really making me feel any better about it. My mum's already on my back about year 12 subject choices, asking me to reconsider them. But I won't. I guess stubborn-ness is just a flaw of mine.
And there are other problems, but I'm not going to write about them here, because I'm not sure if the people I know read this, and therefore they could identify what I'm talking about. There's only so much insight I want to offer people into my life.
So how am I feeling right now? Tired. Which sounds strange because all I do all day is sit around and watch tv. But I am, tired that is. Just of everything. It's weighing me down and I don't know what to do about it. I just want to sleep for like a million years. What do I wish for right now? Deus Ex Machina. Look it up.
Edit: Just checked out my hitcounter, like 600 hits in two months. Who the hell is reading this???
