Rage

So I'm immensely enraged. That's all I can really say. I'm so angry. How is it that I'm still standing here, wallowing in the same old grief while others have so easily moved on??? I mean, what sort of logic / world do we live in where I've been hurt, always have been and still am being and he gets to live happily with no guilt, no remorse, nothing. He's completely fine because "it had to be done". Seriously. Did I deserve it? I don't know. I don't think so. And the stupid thing is this massive part of me refuses to believe that he is an asshole and a bastard and all those bad things. Because surely I wouldn't have fallen in love with one of those. I'm so confused and angry and upset that he's so unaffected.